There ’s no way around this , this column is definitely become to voice like an old mythical wolf shout at the terrible state of things these Clarence Day . If you cover anything for long enough , though , you might get tire and the Macalope has been indite about Apple for …
[ await at calendar ]
Oh , god . Is that right ?
Well , you’re able to either read on or just stack some sticks around the Macalope so predators do n’t get him and move on with your lives .
Let ’s talk rumors . allot to Mark Gurman , Apple is working on – and here the Macalope feels he must point out that this is actually what Gurman is reporting , not one of the Macalope ’s fever dream , induced by eat tainted alfalfa – a table top automaton with Apple Intelligence that can stick with your face around the elbow room for FaceTime calls and even nod when the caller nod .
So . Now the Macalope can divulge the real reason he ’s visit you all here today . Because he require to know who ask for this .
Looking at you , Todd . You weirdo .
This does seem weird , right ? Still , the Macalope ’s not going to write an “ Apple Has Lost Its manner ” column based on a rumour like this . Honestly , he ’s probably not go to write one free-base on anything ever . Tim Cook could get turn a loss in the Amazon and the Macalope would probably attend at his dot range around Brazil on detect My and say “ Mmm , let ’s keep watching for a while . I believe Tim ’s get this . ”
Apple work on a band of thing that never get released . Every once in a while it even announces things that do n’t get released ( RIPAirPower , 2018 - 2019 ) . So we do n’t have a go at it for sure if the troupe is go to ship a tabletop robot that will sharply make eye contact with you and nod and be ten time as creepy as thoseVision Pro eye . And , hey , if it does , maybe it ’ll be cool .
It doesn’tsoundcool . It sounds weird as heck . But maybe it ’ll be nerveless .
The deplorable part to this furry observer is that we have go into a phase of tech Cartesian product development where all anyone seems to conceptualize of is shove AI into a twist and going “ Is this anything ? ” ( Spoiler : it ’s not . ) Wheneven Goldman Sachs start out wonderingif the AI emperor moth has no dress , you might want to think whether or not you could make something else , something actual citizenry need instead of yet another way to deflower the internet and outsource job to something built on copyright material you embezzle .
Back when the Macalope first got into the highly lucrative online punditry business , there were three gravid Apple rumors : a gear up - top loge , a speech sound , and a tablet . ( Yeah , it was that long ago . ) These were twist you already have it off you need ( even if the Apple TV did n’t twist out to be quite the breakout hit the other two are . )
IDG
The Macalope fully have a bun in the oven the AI hoopla cycle to spend , even if it will probably have more farsighted - terminal figure impact on general user than previously over - hype technology like crypto , NFTs , and the blockchain . And Apple ’s slow roll on AI will probably pay off . According to Gurman , an Apple tidings - powered Siri wo n’t go far until iOS 18.4 , which probably means early 2025 . By then it will probably be more clear how usable this technology actually is .
If we take the Vision Pro and Apple Intelligence as the two big Apple products of 2024 then it ’s easy to see why the Macalope might be unmoved by the party ’s newest offerings . Neither of them is really for him . And neither is a tabletop robot .
This current uneasiness will almost assuredly go past . It ’s not like Apple has n’t been able to produce awe-inspiring products that the Macalope has bonk under Tim Cook . Both the Apple Watch and Airpods have been Brobdingnagian success that went from flop to everywhere in just a few years . These are touchable equipment that fill up gaps in our lives we did n’t even know be . Apple ’s long - terminal figure end for the Vision Pro is most assuredly to do the same , it ’s simply not there yet .
But , hey , if Apple wants to make the Macalope glad in the lag , it can always make a Modern iPhone mini .
