It ’s that time of year again when we look back at those who inflicted mental cruelness and digest on us over the last 12 month , shake our fists at the heavens , and exclaim “ WHYYYYYYYYYYY ? ! ”
Then we call them names in a vain attempt to make ourselves find good . It ’s just a thing we do . strain not to over - analyze it .
Let the Macalope start off by saying that he ’s sure most if not all of the individuals on this list are probably very nice the great unwashed . ( Except for Rob Enderle — he ’s in reality a variety of fish . ) So , do n’t disconcert the Macalope calling them fools with them being unfit in cosmopolitan . It ’s just that , when it come to Apple , their notion seem , well , jerky .
Got it ? Good .
permit ’s get this party bulge out !
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10. Samsung
Sometimes it ’s a tenuous line between marketing and prevarication . Not this fourth dimension , though .
In pimping their new Galaxy Tabs ( total before long ! Is this summer soon ? ) , it appear that Samsung may have gilded the lily a bit . May have beeneconomicalwith the truth . May have just made a whole bunch of shite up and tried to pass it off as reliable .
Despite Samsung ’s claim to the contrary , InformationWeek ’s Fritz Nelsonfound the next Galaxy Tab to bethickerthan the iPad 2 , not thinner . Meanwhile , Harry McCracken recover those “ man on the street ” testimonials for the Galaxy Tabto be fake , unless the street is Broadway and this is supposed to be some variety of cinéma vérité .
And even then , they’re still made up .
We make out you ’re frustrated , Samsung . But this is no elbow room for a mature company to act .
9. Rob Enderle
You knew he was operate to be on the listsomewhere , ripe ? Even if he were n’t on the leaning , his body of work is enough to earn him the condition of Apple Fool , Emeritus .
And while this past year did n’t represent Rob ’s fine in gooselike Apple analysis , he still did samara a craaaaaazy article about how Apple ’s Fifth Column had pass through the caller ’s competitors to drag them down . Oh , you think there ’s another reason Apple ’s beating them ? WELL , MAYBE YOU’RE PART OF THE CONSPIRACY .
He alsosagely warnedthat HP ’s firing of Mark Hurd sent a message to Apple that even Steve Jobs should be thrifty about his behavior , alternatively of just sending the substance that HP suck at find fault CEOs .
Finally , his lack of safe preference indicate through when he reverse rumors that Steve Jobs had six calendar week to live intoan alibi to bore us with his fancy bucket list .
And here we imagine it was just his mustache that was tasteless .
8. Netgear CEO Patrick Lo
Lo makes the listing for two understanding . First for saying“Once Steve Jobs pass away , which is probably not far forth , then Apple will have to make a strategical decision on whether to spread out up the platform . ”Second for offering a Greco-Roman non - apology excuse because “ some ” ( read : “ you half-wit ” ) “ see ” his words to have been about Jobs ’s health , which could n’t have been far from the truth . Sure , Patrick .
One could have been inclined to let him off , had he give a existent apology . People sometimes say the wrong thing . But you apologize for it , you do n’t accuse multitude of being too dumb to read what you were really enounce .
7. Brett Arends
accord to Arends , the “ true ” monetary value of the iPad is n’t $ 500.It ’s $ 2000!(Tip o ’ the antler toNostrich . )
Arends ’s minuscule trick here is looking at theopportunity costof the gimmick ( i.e. alternatively of purchase it , you could vest that money ) , which really should factor into the purchasing decision . What ’s plaguey , however , is that Arends seems to think this only worth noting when there ’s a hot Apple product on the market .
The Macalopehad a bit of déjà vu over this man . He wonders if theWall Street Journalknows that Arends sell them almostthe exact same level he wrote about the iPhone for TheStreet.com four years ago .
AsRob Wensing dryly observe on Twitter , thanks to the recession , his iPhone purchase actually outgo the market . It ’s worth pointing out that Arends does n’t take into news report the high resale economic value of these Apple gadget , either .
The Macalope also wonders , though , if this is the same Brett Arends who was willing toignore the two - twelvemonth contract bridge commitment on the Xoomwhen he claimed it was inexpensive than the iPad . Nothing , of form , compares to Arends ’s tablet of choice , a frozen Nook Color , because that was the garish pad of all . Sure it does n’t have cameras , has a slower processor , features only circumscribed video sustenance , and wo n’t flow some Android game , but life is long . You ’ve got plenty of time to enjoy it later .
6. Consumer Reports
Who are you gon na think : Consumer Reportsor that lyin ’ iPhone 4 in your helping hand that works fine and provides all kinds of utility you ’d otherwise be missing out on ?
But what ’s Consumer Reports think to do ? It ’s not like they can recommend a machine that violates their “ no feeler problem from phones made by fruit - themed companies ” policy !
As the Macalope predicted , they had piddling choice but to double down and also reject to recommend the CDMA Verizon iPhone , since facing the fact that they were making a two-fold - standard mountain out of a molehill apparently was n’t an option .
So , what was Consumer Report ’s highest rate AT&T phone?The Samsung Captivate .
Well , at least we can be sure the Captivate does n’t have any antenna issu — oh , heck , the Macalope ’s not going to be coy about it . Here’sa link up to an InformationWeek piece on how the Captivate has its own feeler problemand anotherlink to a video express the Captivate dropping bars faster than any phone tested , including the iPhone 4 .
But , you know , people do n’t require Apple products to be crappy .
5. Dan Lyons
What happened to Dan Lyons ?
Oh , the Macalope does n’t mean in the sentience that “ his early stuff was good but then he sold out , ” although that could have something to do with it . But more in the sense that he used to seem to reallygetSteve Jobs and now he seems to have all the brainstorm of , well , the other rube on this list .
Lyonsgrandiosely announced he was switching from the iPhone to Android , falling into the “ It ’s Windows versus the Mac OS all over again ! ” parameter as well aslauding Google for features it was n’t even ship yet . He laterkeyed the Mac ’s epitaph , coyly noting in the thirteenth paragraph that Apple won’treallykill off the Mac . Sort of urinate you marvel why the clause was titled“R.I.P. , Macintosh ” , then .
Lyons also seemed to think thatApple should have hark back the iPhone 4 , claiming the impression that other phone had aerial problems was “ ridiculous ” and “ absurd . ”
This just in : two magazine your parent used to get in the ’ 80s — Newsweek and Consumer Reports — don’t approve of the hottest company of the current C . There ’s a shocker .
4. Joe Wilcox
Joe drops down a notch on the list this twelvemonth — then again , it was hard to succeed up onlast year ’s challengeto a recuperating Steve Jobs to return to work .
But what kept him eminent on the list this twelvemonth wasblaming the victimfor the frenzy of coverage of Jobs ’s malady . According to Joe , if Apple and Jobs only came clean , the paparazzo would n’t play along him around taking pic . Right . Because that always work in Hollywood .
3. Adobe
It almost seems a storage now , those heady days of the springtime of 2010 we pass contend over Flash . Do the sands of time swarm the Macalope ’s eyes or did Adobe ’s John Dowdell really suggest Apple was unethical for censor Flash from iOS ? Did Lee Brimelow really try out to lay title to the high ground right before saying “ Go screw yourself Apple ” ?
They sure did . ( chastening : Dowdell sayshis reason for claiming Adobe was more honorable than Apple was because Steve Jobs did n’t reveal his aesculapian shape in 2009 . The Macalope does n’t guess that makes the company less ethical either but apologizes for mischaracterizing his rationale . )
Later in the twelvemonth , Dowdell followed up by evoke that anyone who was have problem with Flash on Android was probably not running legitimate copies of the software and complained that the great unwashed should n’t be so quick to spell about mobile Flash problems . Well , to be average to us , there are so many mobile Flash trouble you have to write about them quickly to keep up .
Dowdell and Brimelow were doing such a bang - up job of PR that Adobe CTO Kevin Lynch decided to aid out by seeminglytrying to make it into a First Amendment proceeds . Yeah , that ’ll work .
Meanwhile , Adobe is still struggle to ship an Android translation of Flash that does n’t give you the terrific user experience that only stuttering picture and smooth battery drainage can work . But one thing ’s for sure : the only reason Flash is n’t on iOS is because Steve Jobs is a ascendance monster .
2. Gizmodo
Ugh . Is it deserving blend in over the iPhone 4 matter again ?
Suffice it to say that during the whole cheapjack ordeal , Gizmodo display the same moral rectitude you ’d wait from a combination ofSignor Ugarte , Dr. Smith , andWaluigi .
They purchase merchandise that could be considered stolen under California state police , then statedthey’d “ in all likelihood ” give it back to Apple . Then theypublished touch on quotes from e - mailsto make them take care less like the unserious jerked meat they are .
These days they just sit around lobbing epithet like “ evil ” at Apple . That might really hurt — if their impression were worth something .
1. Katherine Noyes
Congratulations , Katherine ! You ’re the 2011 Fool of the Year ! This one come down to the telegram , but Katherine really stretched over the finishing wrinkle to take the gold .
Well … wait . What ’s the opposite of gold ? Lead . She took the lead .
Katherine is an unfastened - origin enthusiast with a preference for cherry picking . Takethis Charles William Post by her from a month ago , for example . Her contention is that because there were more or less more job mailing for “ Android ” ( which includes tablets and … whatever other Android devices there are ) developers than for “ iPhone ” developers , that mean …
Apple ’s head take off notwithstanding , the iPhone is well on its way to becoming a ecological niche machine .
She says this inpracticallyeveryarticle . It ’s like a tic .
Except more annoying .
Katherine also claims thatAndroid app security system is good , based on a veritable twirler of the weak afternoon tea you ’ve ever had . Forrester Research , at least , disagrees .
It ’s theoretically possible that the iPhone could end up being a ecological niche gadget some day . But while Katherine likes to talk about Android scramble the iPhone , the real history is Android and the iPhone circumvent everyone else — so the “ well on its mode ” part is at least premature . And if it does happen , the reason ’s not going to be because , as Katherine suggests , consumers are justdyingfor open source devices , but because of price and the fact that carriers can easily easily manipulate Android to their own ends .
These factor do n’t confine unfeigned for tablets where , not surprisingly , the iPad is still quetch rear and not bothering to take names because no one ’s going to remember the iPad ’s competitors in a year anyway . Katherine ’s response to this burr in the side of “ open always wins ” was tocall tablet a furore fueled by marketing . In other words , all those millions of multitude who bought iPads are just green dopes .
uncalled-for to say , a mediocre number of reasonable people disagree with her(tip o ’ the antlers toMartin Kopischke ) , includingsome ofhercolleagues at PCWorld .
There ’s wrong and then there ’s on the wrong side of history . And that divergence is what cause Katherine the Fool of the Year .
