Step right up ! Git yer loosely - corroborate asseveration of facts not in evidence right here ! Yes , a number of people who are not lawyers conceive Applemaybe in misdemeanor of U.S. antimonopoly laws ! Meanwhile , one out of one silly pundits fit in : Google ’s imaginary tablet is an iPad cause of death ! Last but not least , the Winotaur pull in that the first step in any 12 - step program is recognizing you have a trouble .
Fetishism
It used to be that the kingdom of unfit Apple smut phantasy was center on the buyout . Apple was start to be bought by Sun , Microsoft , IBM , or any number of ripe caller that would deliver it from the depths . How ? By certify the Mac OS , or having it develop “ Net PCs ” , or turn it into a Windows VAR , or something else that would really just have kill it .
But times have change ! Today ’s Apple porn has the company gettinggetting suedfor supposedantitrustviolations .
Ooh , that ’s gooooood . Yeah . Just like that .
The Macalope ’s no lawyer , so he ’ll give up you any dime - store psychoanalysis of whether or not Apple ’s stance that apps may not be developed with fussy - platform compiling program could be look at in violation of U.S. antitrust regulating . But if this is the sort of thing that gets you excited , palpate innocent to exit the threshold and have some alone time with your illusion .
Just do n’t be let down if the Department of Justice is n’t as turned on by the thought of it as you are .
Read more …
If wishes were horses Google would ride
PC World ’s Tony Bradley believes thatGoogle is in a unique military position to pitch an “ iPad Orcinus orca ” . Why?Because — that ’s why !
To rise his item , Tony quotes himself :
“ Google is n’t Apple , but next to Apple , Google is arguably the most - qualified to launch a tablet gimmick subject of being a game record changer . One thing that Apple and Google have in common is that they tend to think outside of the mainstream and are capable of create image - switch innovation . ”
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzBAH ! Ah ! Oh ! Whoa ! We ’re back from that blockquote ! Uh , sorry , Tony ! The , uh , the Macalope dozed off for a minute there somewhere between “ game changer ” and “ paradigm . ” cant make him sleepyheaded .
What were you saying ?
It only makes sense that Google would take its “ iPhone killer ” Nexus One opening to the next level and deliver an Android - based “ iPad killer ” as well .
hold off , are these title being allow ironically or just titularly without the benefit of any tangible tycoon — like some kind of faux government in expatriate ? Because the horny one hates to violate it to Bradley , but the Nexus One has rather failed to pour down the iPhone by any practical mensuration , having sold probablyonly about 160,000 units in the first quarter .
Bradley sure fill his piece with a destiny of unsupported statements , though .
Google is in a unique position to learn from its own experience gained from the launch of the Nexus One , and also to learn from Apple ’s launch of the iPad .
Why ? Tony never say .
compound those lessons get a line could give a slick and redoubtable pill to contend with the iPad .
How ? Tony never say .
If Google include support for Adobe Flash , a camera or two , and perchance a USB port or SD memory card time slot …
A compass in the blood line ! twofold bucket seats ! A three - car detached garage ! An out-of-door flatulence grill with a rotisserie and deep fryer ! immense 1980’s - elan hair ! Everything a boy calculate for in a missy !
… it can make a gimmick that has all of the benefits of the iPad while also pitch everything the iPad is n’t .
Right . Because if you justjam a USB larboard onto a Android - base tab it ’s get ta be dependable , veracious ? ! ( Tip o ’ the antler toDaring Fireball . )
As in “notify the next of” when it dies?
Microsoft announced yetanotherline of cubicle phones this week : the Kin . Which is a perfect name for a phone designed for vernal people who are into societal networking , because if there ’s anything today ’s vernal people bang , it ’s talkin ’ like a hillbilly . To get the 411 on the Kin , the Macalope dialed his old acquaintance , the Winotaur .
MACALOPE : Hey , dude . What ’s up with this Kin ?
WINOTAUR : I do n’t know!Oh , God , I … I think I may have a job !
MACALOPE : Whoa , whoa . What ’s up , big guy ?
WINOTAUR : I just keep create chopine after platform ! I do n’t get it on what ’s untimely with me ! “ The Kin ” ? This affair has all the staying magnate ofthe macarena !
MACALOPE : Er …
WINOTAUR : It ’s just another technology I ’m going to ditch in a class ! I think … I think I ’m addicted to launching platforms !
MACALOPE : Dude …
WINOTAUR : I launch three more platform this morning ! Two of which I EOL - male erecticle dysfunction before lunch ! My life is out of mastery !
MACALOPE : Winny …
WINOTAUR : I call for HELP ! SOMEBODY HELP ME ! AAAAAAGH !
Well , it just set out surly after that . The tears , the awful acknowledgement of unfulfilled emotional pauperization from childhood , the biting recrimination against a loveless and autocratic father … Anyway , sleep insure that the Macalope peach him down off the shelf and give him the telephone number of a good halfway mansion . He ’ll get the help he needs .
And then he ’ll be out there make cockeyed newfangled platforms again in a week .
Fish got ta swim , after all .
