Sure , you could get up bright and other , steer on down to your local Apple Store , and place upright in line for the right to get your paw on an iPad — if you care doing things the quondam - fashioned elbow room . New biography provides such howling conveniences as indoor plumbing , galvanising lighting , and home delivery of that in high spirits - tech Apple contrivance you ordered back in March . Macworld contributor Lex Friedman took advantage of that very avail when he placed an order for one of Apple ’s unexampled iPads . This is how he spent his Saturday .
I watched with glee as my iPad slow made its UPS - power trek from China to Alaska . Its holiday in the fixed tundra was a brief one , and it promptly skipped down into Kentucky — along with many , many other iPads if the regular stream of Kentucky - themed tweets I pick out were anything to go by . It was there , in Kentucky , that UPS and Apple parked thousands of iPads , whose last destinations were scattered around the country , not move them from that UPS merchant vessels hub too soon , not want iPads to arrive before the wizardly April 3 sacking appointment .
I guess most of the iPads sat around in their cardboard box , sip Kentucky Bourbon dynasty , munching on Kentucky Fried Chicken ( the “ extra crispy , ” of course — only iPhones choose the original formula ) .
I imagine that the intuitive fervor I felt when my oft - refreshed UPS tracking URL establish motion on April 2 was n’t unique . My iPad — like so many of its Bluegrass State - establish chum — was on the move again , leaving the country for cheery Newark , New Jersey , where it landed Friday evening .
Overnight , it model . Saturday morning , the iPad moved from Newark to Tinton Falls , New Jersey . It ’s a place I ’ve never been , but UPS seems abysmally adoring of the Ithiel Town — the toter operate on a hub there , and all packages to my home go through that stop . Now , I was more pump than ever . At 9:20 a.m. Eastern , my iPad had left Tinton Falls ! Next stop : Lex ’s House !
Or so I think .
Minutes go by , and no iPad arrive . But soon that minute stretch out to an hour . And then another .
As time marched on , my saneness exhibit with it . I post a series of more and more distraught tweets , the postmodern shape of a nervous breakdown :
iPad day + good weather day = epic conflict brewing between me and the female parent of my shaver , who likes things like ‘ natural process for kid . ’
Has anyone seen my freaking iPad ?
I WANT MY MOTHERBLEEPIN ’ IPAD IN MY MOTHERBLEEPIN ’ HANDS , UPS .
Screw it . get a Joo Joo .
9 am : ‘ DESTINATION SCAN ’ status . That mean it ’s at the readiness that ships to my firm . But I ’ve yet to see the sought after ‘ OUT FOR DELIVERY . ’
By this point , it was half retiring twelve noon . My descent into iPad - less madness continued :
There ’s a fell satire in the vexing amount of panning / scrolling required to supervise my iPad ’s status onups.comwith the iPhone ’s screen .
If I put my 16 - month - old ’s hand on my iPhone , I can pretend it ’s an iPad . Which is good , since apparently today Brown ca n’t do squatting for me .
whole tweeting this from my … SAME sometime DAMN IPHONE .
No updates since 9:21am Eastern on UPS ’s site . heartfelt UPS : GET BENT . By which I mean : GIVE ME MY IPAD .
( notice that the last entryway in that sequence is a dramatic re - interpretation of what I actually tweeted , so thatMacworldisn’t hauled before an FCC court . )
Finally , around 2:30pm , while I put my 3 - year - old down for her nap , I heard the doorbell ring . To my quotation , I finished the line of work of getting her tucked in before fly down the stair .
import after plug my iPad into my iMac for the first time , I snapped a photo with my iPhone and posted one last , profane update to Twitter :
It ’s about [ put ] time .
Swearing was evacuant , but now it was clock time to achieve nirvana , to embrace my new Apple contrivance . After all , my interminable wait was over ! The iPad was — ultimately — in my hands !
I link my wanted new twist to iTunes and click sync . The magnificent message appeared :
About 3 hour remaining .
